Drum Roll Please...

For those who aren't fully up to date, I am testing out insanity for 60 days.  I started two weeks ago and have been doing pretty great; although I did get sick on thursday and wasn't able to do any insanity until today.  Needless to say, I was a TINY bit nervous (lol as in completely wet my pants terrified) of my workout today.  To make it even more nerve wracking, today it was time for the fit test (you do it every 15 days).  

So I strapped on my big girl panties, bit the bullet, and put in the DVD and do you know what happened?!  I freakin' rocked it! I actually made it through the warm up and only had to stop for it once and I improved on every move!  So, without further ado, I give you my fit test results from both day one and today:

 

As you can see I improved really well in the first three moves but then I pooped out after that; but hey, I still improved! :D  Now all I need to do is get my diet back under control and I'll be golden!

Stay safe, stay happy, stay hopeful

Fit Beast signing off :D

(Early) Update

Pretty much how I look after every insanity workout

Ok, so my plan to blog everyday was a total bust, but I don't feel so bad because I actually managed to do insanity everyday!  Well except yesterday 'cuz I was lazy and woke up late and by the time I was ready to work out my niece was going to bed and all the jumping wakes her up, so yesterday was a bust but I got right back in it today.  Word of advice, if you ever decide to do insanity, don't skip a day.  Because when you take a "rest" day when you're not supposed to (one is worked into the program once a week) then doing the workout the next day is like day one all over again; in other words, miserable!

Now I haven't weighed myself or taken my measurements again because it's only been a week and I think I'll wait until halfway through to do that so I'm not bugging out if my weight hasn't dropped (which usually it doesn't until about week 7 so I've heard).  However I will share a few neat things I've notice that I can now do that I couldn't a week ago:

1. I can kick my legs out into a plank position!  I couldn't even do that when I was at the gym working with a trainer!  This move is used in suicide jumps, drill levels 1 and 2, and burpies (and possibly others but I either can't remember or haven't done them yet).  Basically you start in a standing position with your feet pretty close together.  Next you "drop" down to the floor by crouching down, keeping your legs together, and putting your hands on the ground on either side of your legs.  Then, when your hands are steady on the ground, you kick both feet out behind you, at the same time, and hold your body in a plank position.  From there you can either do push-ups  floor sprints, or jump back into the crouch position, then jump straight up into the air.  Day one, I could not do this!  Today, not only can I jump out but I can also jump back in while keeping my legs mostly together.  (I say mostly because I've got pretty bit thighs and they really like to stick together which makes it hard for my knees to stay together, too).

2.  I can last a little bit longer into the warm-up!  Actually I can only make it through about the first move and then halfway through the second without stopping, but on day one I had to stop halfway through the 1st move so that's progress!

3.  I can go down a tiny bit farther with my push-ups and not once have I done a girly push-up!  On day one I sort of held myself in the plank position and moved my head.  Today I can actually bend my arms just a tiny bit and bring myself back up.  My head still moves, because we all know that head movement makes a push-up easier (right?) ;), but at least my arms are moving now too.

Stay safe, stay happy, stay hopeful
Sore in places I didn't know could be sore, signing off!

Insanity Day 1 Photos (not for the faint of heart or squeamish)

In sixty days these will be dramatically different!  Trying hard not to criticize the photos too much since they do show my progress from surgery day but I never got good photos like these so it's still kind of hard to tell... oh well, in 60 days there will be a dramatic difference.  Will I look like those people who are in the infomercial  No of course not, but I will have some results I'm sure of it!

We're INSANE over here!

It's official: I am now testing out the 60 day insanity work out and today was day one.  Let me give you a quick recap of what my first workout was like... OWWWY!!!! LOL and today was just the fit test.  The real workout doesn't start until tomorrow.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little scared but also kind of excited at the same time.

For those of you who don't know, insanity is max interval training which is basically periods of high intensity with tiny rests in between... so it's interval training turned on it's head.  It claims to be the hardest workout on DVD on the market right now and that it will give you  a  year's worth of results in just 2 months.  I decided why not? If I stick with it for 2 months and I'm not satisfied they'll refund my money; if it's the other way around than woo hoo for me!

So my step sister and I are doing it together which I think is great because I think we'll be able to keep each other motivated since we'll both be lying down panting and sweating like pigs before the warm ups even over, which means we're not alone in our out of shape-ness. ;)  This is something we already demonstrated by doing the fit test.  The fit test is about 25 min. long and includes a warm-up, 8 workouts of 1 minute each with maybe 30s-1min of rest in between and then a cool down.  Seems simple right? WRONG.  The warm-up itself was a workout; to quote my sister "who warms up like this?" said in a breathy panting sort of way. :D  The eight moves are switch kicks, power jacks, power knees, power jumps, globe jumps (traveling squat jumps), suicide jumps, push-up jacks, and low plank oblique.

As an extra motivation to keep me going I'll post on here daily, even if only to say yes I did my workout, and post my fit test results which we do periodically throughout the 2 month process.  Here are today's fit test results:

Switch Kicks: 46
Power Jacks: 26
Power Knees: 54
Power Jumps: 21
Globe Jumps (x4): 5 (20)
Suicide Jumps: 6
Push-up Jacks: 4
Low Plank Oblique: 18

I will also post my beginning measurements, weight and photos... or at least try with the photos since my computer has been picky about that recently.

Starting weight:
230.8 lbs

Starting measurements:
Neck: 15.75 in
Bust: 48 in
Right Bicep: 16.5 in
Right Forearm: 12 in
Waist: 46.75 in
Hips: 52.5 in
Right Thigh: 28.5 in
Right Calf: 18.5 in

Here's to getting insanely fit! teeheehee

Stay safe, stay happy, stay hopeful
She's totally insane, signing off

Back to Basics

So I haven't posted a band related post in quite some time so I thought I'd settle myself down and get back to what started this entire journey.  I think sometime within the past few months I've lost sight of, sometime even forgotten, why I did this and what I wanted to accomplish.  I've started noticing myself looking for that easy "quick fix" diet and I have to be like "whoa, wait a second, you're banded lady you don't need one of those!"  Anyways here's a list of some of the positives of my banding:

1.  It was something I needed to give me a kick start.  If I could just get that first little push I could gain momentum and really take off.

2. It was a scary, exhilarating decision and one of my own making.  I put in the time and effort and I was proud when my day finally arrived.

3. My sense of pride when I went through my first few weeks so on track and so focused, and seeing the results on the scale almost on a daily basis.

4. I could feel my life changing  moving, finally getting out of the rut it had been in for years and years and it was amazing.

5. The first month after my banding was the best and happiest time of my life in a very long while.  I was proud of myself and happy with the person I saw in the mirror, even though she wasn't perfect.  I was finally able to look at that woman in the mirror and love and accept her for exactly who she was.

I've lost sight of those feelings, but I'm determined to find them again.  I have a little trick up my sleeve on how to do that, but that's another story for another blog. :D

Stay safe, stay happy, stay hopeful
Newly determined signing off

Um... Oops

Ok so I said A LOT of stuff in my previous blog only a few hours ago and I have to say I feel much better.  Hmm maybe all I needed to do was say something about it, huh?  Anyways, I actually did not get on my blog to post such a giant vent session but it just kinda slipped past my fingers.  What I meant to post was a question of what you all thought of insanity and if I should go ahead and try it.

It looks like it would work but only by me putting in the effort.  Maybe I could do a thing to blog daily updates to keep myself accountable.  However it looks really super hard and that's kind of scary.  I've done a little bit of looking into what others have thought and most everyone loves it, but all those people are of a specific personality type; they're competitive and/or former athletes who don't mind the somewhat in your face motivation style of the videos.  Now I know I'm not really an athlete but back in high school I did swim competitively and I was always very... well competitive.  I always worked best when trying to outdo someone else or myself.  So maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

It basically comes down to fear.  I'm afraid of how hard it will be and trust me it'll be hard because even in the infomercials they say it's the hardest workout ever put out there on DVD.  Maybe I'm afraid of trying and not doing well; or of trying and actually succeeding. Maybe I'm afraid of the pain (well I know I am, but is that the biggest fear?).  Anyways, let me know what you think and maybe by the time you do I'll have come to a decision but will still appreciate the input. :D

Stay safe, stay happy, stay hopeful
Fearful and shamefaced signing off

My body: the world's most effective progress and success sink hole.

Ok so I've been such a slug I can't stand it anymore.  Granted I've been helped in my sluggish ways by a new and improved bout of hypoglycemic episodes.  Although now I'm being referred to a neurologist so maybe it's not even hypoglycemia, maybe I have some weird seizure thing or something.  I've already been asked, most likely in a joking manner, if they think I might have a brain tumor. ;D  As of yet, I'm not jumping to that conclusion so no one freak out cuz if you do I'll just get paranoid and run around with a self diagnosed brain tumor and I'll probably croke from stress. :D

For the past week I've left my house only once, I've barely gotten out of bed and i think I've showered once; twice if the people I'm living with are really lucky.  I won't lie and say I haven't been battling some serious nasty thoughts and waves of major self pity and depression.  I've even asked out loud if it's all worth it any more.  Even going so far as to praying or God to just end it already.  Saying I'm tired and done can't I just close my eyes and never open them again?  Super dramatic and obnoxious now that I look back on it but I won't lie and say I wasn't in that place.

Why was I in that place?  I'm not sure exactly, all I know is I just felt like why try to change in life when life seemed so damned determined to make sure that never happened.  I went over six months without an incident and then BAM! one month after my lap band, the best life changing, life giving decision I'd ever made and these symptoms come back with a vengeance and don't let up.  Fainting, dizziness, shaking, nausea, confusion; you name it I've experienced it.  I take two weeks off to try and get it under control and nothing, not a freaking sign that these symptoms ever happened.  Three days back at work and BAM! paramedics are called to work, AGAIN, and I'm that chick.  The one at work that everyone whispers about and feels sorry for, or you know says she's brought it on herself and resents her for always missing work and they have to pick up her slack and frankly I wouldn't blame them if that really is what they think.  I'm so mad I can hardly see straight and I want to scream and hit stuff and cry and it all just really sucks.

However instead of screaming and crying and hitting I'm lying in my bed, that hasn't been made in weeks, blindly reading books I've read a hundred times, or sitting at my computer playing hours of mind numbing games or watching movies; anything to keep me from actually dealing with whatever is going on.  I had my last episode last Thursday and to this day I can't shake the dizziness.  I'm pissed and not very hopeful that this neurologist will find anything wrong.  He'll say what everyone else has said; that my test results are perfectly normal and nothing is wrong with me.  This begs the question: are they right?  Is there really nothing wrong with me.  Is this another one of my attempts at self sabotage.  Is a person capable of throwing themselves into near syncopal episodes whenever they're starting to make progress and set themselves back 20 paces?  By the way a syncopal or near syncopal episode, from my understanding, is a fancy way of saying fainting or near fainting - at least, that's what I think when so many doctors throw that phrase around when referring to me saying I kinda passed out but not really cuz I could hear voices and feel things but couldn't always tell what was being said and couldn't respond.  I know I should look this stuff up but at this point if a freaking doctor can't figure out what's wrong, then me and Web M.D. have no chance.

Due to my delightful condition - weather real or... what?... no imagined cuz I mean it is happening but... maybe... brought on subconsciously... somehow - by myself, I have missed three classes, one lab, and an entire week of work.  I don't work out, I don't eat unless starving and then it's crap like pizza or something like that.  I've completely given up on my band and helping it out and going through this process.  I have a check-in tomorrow and I'm considering changing the appointment because I just don't want to go in and see the same number from last time and the time before.  I feel ashamed and like a bad person.  I'm not exactly sure why, but I do.

Oh and, PS  my sleep study results came back and guess what? Up you guessed it, the results were normal.  My blood sugars, pressures, tests and blah blah blah blah blah are all so NORMAL! God I've never hated that word more in my entire life!  Ok I'm getting way too worked up.  I'm starting to misspell my words and mess up my grammar and though not a new thing for me, the overwhelming urge to beat the ever loving stuffing out of my keyboard is so I'm gonna go drink some water and sit in my bed and seethe... good freaking night.